From the Field
Writing on eating disorders, recovery, and the human experience
Teaching to Disobey
Growing up, children and teenagers are taught to obey, conditioned into compliance. Rules are reinforced, and obedience is rewarded while disobedience results in time-outs, lost privileges, or a letter sent home.
Adults who make those rules—parents, coaches, and teachers—may have the child’s best interest at heart. But there is another voice many children hear that does not. It’s the voice of their eating disorder, always trying to impose its own, unforgiving rules.
The More it Screamed, the More She Screamed Back
I’m not sure whether to give credit to the Leo in me or to my ADHD for treating recovery like it was some kind of challenge that I couldn’t lose. The pride and satisfaction I felt from progressing everyday in my recovery and defying the odds fueled me to keep going.
The House Always Wins
I hate gambling. The few times I've ever been to a casino, I didn’t particularly enjoy playing the slots, and stopped after my $40 limit ran out because, as we all have been told, the house always wins. Yet I remain optimistic that someday I might win the lottery and retire to my fantasy house on the beach. Hope springs eternal
I liken this to your eating disorder. Your eating disorder will always win—if you feed it your hard-earned currency. Meaning any time you decide to play the game, you can’t beat it. Even if you try to set limits.
